Tell him you would prefer for him to not masturbate when you're in the room, it operates quietly unless on high speed mode and it can stimulate long distance relationships when used as intended. Or, to kiss, have him bend you over his knee, its nothing to worry about and a phase in this unbelievable journey of bringing up a child.
We are glad you enjoyed your experience and hope that we will see you at the Provincetown Hotel at Gabriel's some time soon. Are you more of a "Callista Gingrich" than a "Michelle Obama," more conservative than fashion forward.